What’s red and invisible?

No tomatoes.

This is my favourite joke of all time, but sadly, this is also the current situation re my tomato plants. They’re all in the green bin now – bar the last three, as I got so far and then was overcome with ennui, so they’re still sitting in the growbag looking vile. I’ll probably put them out of their misery later today. I’m getting sick of looking at them now, apart from anything else.

We went away on holiday at the start of August – came back briefly the second week to pick up camping gear.

(A week in the Lakes…


…followed by a week in the Highlands.


*end of sneaky holiday snap spammage*)

The plants were showing definite signs of blight back then. By the time we returned (last weekend) they’d utterly succumbed.

The courgettes in the yard were starting to look a funny colour on our first return too, but they had a couple of good fruits on them, so I put it down to a possible day or two of dryness (there’s not been more than a couple of days without rain up here for at least a month). However, it seems it was something more revolting and ultimately fatal than that. I now have only one backyard courgette plant, and I suspect that’s not going to last much longer either. The poor things looked like props in some post-apocalyptic tale when I got back a week ago – all yellow and decaying, for no immediately obvious reason. Very slightly closer inspection revealed a quite spectacular invasion of slugs – even the stalks of the leaves were filled with them.

Excuse me while I take a minute to settle my stomach.

I have no photos of any of this, because frankly, I don’t want to see that and I’m sure no one else does either. Lucky for me, we got up the allotment yesterday – during a break in the rain – to fetch some potatoes, and the one courgette plant up there, which *had* been trailing behind my yard courgettes rather pathetically, is looking happy, and green, and had three or four nice little fruits and one almost-marrow for me to take home.

I lifted the garlic, and what passes for my shallot harvest this year, while I was there – happily, the garlic was a good result, despite being a post-Christmas planting (the first time I’ve ever done this). So here’s a bit of a pic of those.


I’ve got textile-related relating to do too, but for the sake of my categories I’m going to do that in a fresh post.


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